New Year Greetings and Predictions 2013

I wish all my readers a happy New Year and peace in the coming year.

Now for my predictions, as several bloggers are venturing theirs.

  • Pope Benedict XVI will abdicate, go and live in the USA, be “born again” and join an Evangelical mega-church.
  • The Church of England will join the Ordinariate and all the church buildings will be sold. All Anglicans who refuse to join the Ordinariate will be sold as slaves to the Saracens.
  • Ms Katharine Jefferts Schori will be elected Pope and take the name of Joan II.
  • Blogs and e-mail will be banned and it will be Facebook and Twitter or nothing. It looks like we will be back to fountain pens, envelopes and postage stamps!
  • Irak and Iran will be colonized by traditional / conservative Catholics and the fires will be lit to bring the heathen to the one true Church and the faith. They will be under the gentle and fair rule of Queen Isabella III and that most kind and magnanimous Cardinal Twistopathicus for their pastoral care.
  • The Illuminati will be busted and kicked half-way to Mars.
  • Christians in the USA will need the Acme® Survival Kit to avoid persecution. It can be ordered here for 36 million dollars (sub-prime loans available subject to evaluation, security and status). Obama is overthrown and his place will be taken by a funny little fellow from Austria, failed artist and ex-Army corporal, sporting a little black moustache and ranting with a loud voice with his right arm up in the air. All Americans are cordially invited to learn German.
  • Mining magnate Benzino Whatalot will discover a way to colonize Planet X and flood the world with 22 carat gold and diamonds. He will buy Westminster Abbey and St Paul’s Cathedral for the Ordinariate.
  • The English Royal Family will convert to Islam.
  • The Mayans got it wrong – the End of the World is back on – and a new movie will be made. Here we go again!

Have a nice day!

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4 Responses to New Year Greetings and Predictions 2013

  1. Jim of Olym says:

    “Blogs and e-mail will be banned and it will be Facebook and Twitter or nothing. It looks like we will be back to fountain pens, envelopes and postage stamps!”
    Looks like we will have to bring back the mimeograph and ditto machines and carbon paper!
    Happy new Year. Back to the future!

    Rdr. James Morgan

  2. Jim of Olym says:

    PS: I must be a time traveler! My post was posted as 1 January at 6:29 am and here on the west coast of the USA it’s only 9:30 pm on 31 December! WOW!

  3. Charles A. Coulombe says:

    Who told you of our plans? It was all to be secret!

    Agent X

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